Our Choices Don’t Define Who We Are

“There are primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” 

We all make choices every day.  Some we make without giving a second thought to.  Other choices are more difficult for us to make.  Are you like me, in that you beat yourself up for your bad choices … because those bad choices led to difficult consequences?

For many, many years I was very, very hard on myself.  I do believe that part of it had to do with my Borderline Personality Disorder being so out of control, and I wasn’t going to a psychologist at the time.  But even over the past five years, I have been very hard on myself about my bad choices.  I use to (I stopped about 6 – 8 months ago) think about my past mistakes, my past bad choices and rehash all the awful consequences, in my head, that happened because of those bad choices I made and I literally made myself sick.   I would get stress headaches and awful stomach aches every time I would do that, not to mention big, puffy eyes, from all the crying I would do because it would make me extremely sad and depressed.  And I would do this all the time.  I was even suicidal a couple of times.  I felt so awful about myself.

I finally realized that I had to start making choices everyday that I knew I could feel proud of.  Choices that for me was something in my mental health were helpful choices that would help me get through my day.  And so far it has been really helping me a lot.  I don’t have to look back and feel bad anymore about myself anymore.  Because I finally realize something I feel like it has taken me a lifetime to understand.

And that is our choices don’t define who we are. Just because we have made bad choices, made mistakes, it doesn’t make us bad people … it just makes us human.

“When something bad happens you have three choices; you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.” 

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