Who has time for patience ?

“Patience, the gift of being able to see past the emotion.” ~ Rodney Williams 

I know the sayings, “Patience is a virtue,” and “Patience is a gift,” and so many of the other quotes about patience. But the more I pray for patience, the less God gives me of it. It’s almost like God is teasing me and He takes some of mine away every time I pray and ask Him for patience. I know He doesn’t do that, but darn it… I am truly a very impatient woman. Grrrr! I truly am.

I mean I just don’t have time to wait around. I have stuff to do… things to take care of… answers that need to heard. I know that this sounds very selfish of me, but that is just it. I am a very selfish woman. Having Borderline Personality Disorder, there are certain things about my behavior that I do that I am not proud of and one of which is how impatient I am. In my view point, I want what I want, when I want it. But that doesn’t mean that I always get what I want. But I DO NOT like to be told no. That irritates me beyond just about anything. To just be told flat out…”No.” Oh my gosh!

We have been waiting since Friday afternoon to hear back from a place about a particular house we put an application in on; and now it’s almost 5pm Monday and no word. I am just not patient, and I know it’s only been a couple of days. It’s just that I think that if we had been buying instead of renting we would have heard back right away I’m sure. I just feel that we are being treated like second class citizens because we aren’t buyers, but renters. It’s almost like they don’t have time for us. Which just royally pisses me off even more.

I don’t like playing the waiting game. Waiting … waiting … waiting. I suppose it wouldn’t be so difficult for me if we wouldn’t have to move out so darn quickly. Well, that’s a whole other story in itself, and I just won’t go there right now, because I’ll just get annoyed all over again over that situation.

So, for now…I’ll be packing boxes … and waiting.

“I don’t have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.” 


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